Maria Mor

I walked into our local Walgreens and Valentine’s Day had puked all over. Yes, heart balloons pulsated in the air glaring at me “Be my Valentine” in bubbly large letters. Crimson red roses, tucked in nicely packaged burritos, awaited a hello. Light pink candy boxes gently whispered in my ear, “Be Mine,” as I searched for some razors, Advil, and a pint of Haagen Dazs.

I don’t know why I had the brilliant idea of walking through the chocolate aisle, but I did. Dove’s silky smooth promises harassed me from the side.  At the check-out line I could not escape the “innocent” eyes of the cottoned teddy bear against the cash register. It was too perfectly white to not be evil.  He carried a small velvety box with a bow flawlessly tied around it. I bet you the mysterious chocolates inside were all cherry flavored. YUCK! I prefer donuts!

That day I left Walgreens with the three things I needed and an unsolicited image of what “love” means to society. Valentine’s day, in my opinion, is a constant reminder of your singularity in life. For those not strong enough to fall into the trap, it lures you into believing that getting chocolates, balloons, and going out to a fancy dinner is happiness. Without those things you are sad and alone.

Nonetheless, there is no reason to fret. Yes I am talking to you, on the other side of the screen reading this under a blanket with Hallmark channel in the background.  I was there once. I too felt alone. Yet, Valentine’s Day is not THE day to feel sorry for yourself. If anything, it should be a time to truly embrace your individuality. That’s what you should be celebrating: Your freaking authenticity. So here I am sharing with you  4 experiences to make your life and Valentine’s Day a little happier to marvel in.

~ Learn to be alone:

A very wise woman, my life coach, once said to me: “Why do you fear being alone? Could it be that you don’t like yourself enough to be at peace in your own company? Therefore, you search for comfort in another human being?” For a while I thought about those questions and came to the conclusion that in order to be with someone else, I first had to understand my flaws and learn to love myself.

Now now, I am not telling you to go on a three year hiatus to find yourself. My invitation is to take a step back and be honest with yourself. Darling, can you be gentle with your own being? Can you love your core and move outward from there? I am not much for giving advice, but what I can say is that when I started loving my own company I also stopped depending on any one to fulfill my happiness.

~ Write a letter(s):

On my first single Valentine’s Day, I snuggled in my bed and wrote a short letter of encouragement addressed to me. A year after, on a random day, I typed a love letter to my 30 year old self. Also, for the past three years I have written little sweet nothings to the guy I envision being with. These glimpses of words bring happiness to my soul. With that being said, I want to share a little excerpt to help with your creative wheels:

“I don’t want to settle down with you, I want to take off with you – to faraway countries, foreign landscapes, mystical universes, gems and corners that would only have looked half as amazing without you by my side. When I strap on a bag pack and head out on an adventure I want you boarding with me. You are the person I want to get lost with, be vulnerable with, set camp or a home with, hold hands in the morning, cry with a sad movie, laugh at a dumb joke, dance in the moonlight, drink in festivity, make love under the sun, and grow individually and together. When I come home with a tale to tell, I want you to be there and back up the details or listen at such ridiculousness. I want to be home with you and escape with you. Let’s be whole on our own and together. Be there front, center, and present!”

~ Treat Yo Self:

Maybe you do want those balloons, chocolates, flowers, and dinners. Get up, dress to impress, buy yourself the balloons, shower your house with flowers, eat those velvety delights, and make the reservation at your favorite restaurant. Part of being alive, healthy, and working is so that you can enjoy the rewards. Just because there isn’t a partner at the moment does not mean YOU cannot enjoy the present moment. I have no doubt that he or she is out there so grab a doughnut, brew some coffee, and appreciate the little moments!

~ Celebrate Valentine’s Day With Who You Do Have:

You don’t have a significant other? Call your friends, buy some Chardonnay, and bake some cookies on Valentine’s Day. Throw a “Galentine’s Day” party with all your gals. Drink beer and listen to music. Invite your mom to a nice dinner or volunteer your time for a good cause. Who says V-day has to consist of only chocolate covered strawberries, champagne, and rose petals? Share your love and genuineness with the people you do have in your life instead of focusing on the people who are missing.

With all this being said, my lovely friends, know that you are kissable, hug-able, and lovable. Your plus one is on the way if you want him/her. In the mean time teach yourself to love your own existence, be proud of all your accomplishments, and go on adventures. There isn’t any harm in projecting a future with someone as weird as you. My thought is don’t dwell on it too much! Love does not have an expiration date.

Best of energies,

~M