Maria Mor

I sat in my car listening to the rain drops trickle down my windshield. Rudimental’s Sun Comes Up lingered softly in the background. I was slightly reclined on the driver seat, my head relaxed against the head rest, and my eyes were looking out into the cloudy sky. There was a small voice calmly questioning a snippet of my life: “Why this? Why me? Why now? What are the lessons and gifts behind this beautiful Risk?”

I sat still for a couple of minutes with my stare fixated beyond the dark gray clouds waiting for some respond from above. None came! Straightening my back and wiggling my legs, I made eye contact with the small giggly child in front of me. She waved with a genuine smile reminding me to look deep inside and let my inner child come out and play. I turned off my engine, hopped out of my car, and ran into Target expecting not to get too wet. I was drenched.

See, I met a nice handsome fella. It only lasted for a little bit, because he was moving in a month. I did not know if I should laugh at the situation or flip a table. Maybe both. Actually we met before, a while back. We had heard of one another once or twice. Probably exchanged subtle glances walking by. We spent the same amount of time around the same places and mingled with the same people. In fact, we had a lot of mutual friends, but it was not until later that we came face to face. Even then mostly silence filled the room. If 4 or 5 words were shared, I could not remember. I knew him as the man of very few words, with quite versatile hands, and eyes that expressed more than he intended to. Unsure of much else his first impression rendered an air of mystery that deemed interesting.

Recently (3 years later), we bumped into each other at a friend’s gathering. Of course I was more than punctual to this shindig while he arrived a little later, like most normal people. Toward the end of the night, a few Sangrías in my system, and a random watermelon slice we did manage to have a conversation consisting of more than 5 words. He told me he was moving for grad school. I told him I wanted there to be a girl version of  The Jungle Book.  During our small talk he and I shared the same love for Drake’s Passionfruit and breakfast. At the moment, the evening became nothing more than a fun memory. I had no reason for reading into it, yet the sequence of events that came after were all unexpected.

In that month prior to him moving we went to breakfast twice where I mentioned my dislike for strawberries and his for cantaloupe. The beach welcomed us with the pummeling of the waves contrasting with the soft sand.  We “nerded” out visiting a science museum  filled with fun facts and friendly sting rays. I didn’t know what to expect and still everything surprised me. He surprised me!

From personal experience I can say that the Universe has a very funny way of doing things. Sometimes I can hardly understand what she is doing. Like many others, this experience was no exception, so I went with it thinking less and feeling more. There weren’t that many text messages exchanged besides the ones for making plans. We didn’t hold hands or kiss either.

What we were doing was living in our own present moment. We consciously made a decision to create a space filled with pure enjoyment, great conversation, and plenty of fun. For me, it was a few hours where it felt safe to be ourselves and be honest without fear of judgement. The length or quantity of our time together did not matter; we were simply there exploring this gentle curious energy pulling between us.  To be honest, my favorite parts of the whole thing were our willingness, forwardness, and laughter that took place on every date.

Reminiscing on my past, I now understand the Universe’s magical intentions dancing around in the air. I like to think that in the short period of time we shared together we added value and substance into each other’s lives. He gave me the gift of his time and taught me to truly let go. The peace and calmness I felt were irreplaceable. In between our stories, he shared Miles Davis’s autobiography and added new tunes to my endless photo editing playlist. I also acquired a new found appreciation for the color black thanks to him. Who would of thought? Most importantly, this guy gave me the gift of hope. I tend to be a pretty positive person, but with my love life things were beginning to look a little bleak. This experience filled my heart with trust that the essence of the man I envision exists. Plus, the gift of hope is probably the nicest thing a man has ever given me!

Yes, this handsome fella did move and neither of us could control that. It is life. We did not say goodbye in person like I would of liked to, but it was meant to happen that way.  I don’t know if we will ever see each other again nor what he thought of the entire adventure, myself included. Maybe we stay in contact or maybe not. The communication is up to us. Maybe our paths will cross again when the timing is right or maybe this  was all we were meant to experience together. Just maybe, 3 year from now we will hear our names on the news as most renounced contemporary artists or “randomly” bump into each other at an airport. Who really knows? I don’t know. He doesn’t know. No one really knows what the future upholds. All that really counts is that we took the risk and all that matters are the memories we instilled in each other! Everything else is up to the Universe.

My heart is filled with gratitude! I thank him for all the little glimpses together. Although his talent for creation is his most renounced feature, I think his kindness and respect are his golden qualities. He may have very captivating eyes, a killer jaw line, and alluring lips, but his humility out shines all of it. A true rare bird, he is one of those gentlemen with an edge that shows up once in a blue moon leaving a very small, but powerful mark. As I can only speak for myself, I hope that I was able to return in some way, shape, or form the gifts he so effortlessly shared with me.

These meetings are never by chance. I believe they are cycles of giving, receiving, and of individual transformation. Much love and the best of energies to this wonderful guy. Soar up high my friend, because all I see are great things in store for you.

~M